Here is my video about my battle against lupus

Why can’t I hold all these chihuahuas?! 

callmenik:

I’m trying to spread awareness about the illness SYSTEMIC LUPUS and I need all of your help. Like, reblog or post your own stuff. 

Help make this illness known. Spread the word.

I will make a video about my battle against lupus this week.

I have a couple of bad habits and one of them is chewing ice. Whether I am at a theater, restaurant, or night club, I will chew on ice. After I finish my drink, I have this sudden urge to chomp on ice before it melts. I know this is bad for my teeth as it can create cracks on my teeth. Right now, I have a slight chip on one of my front teeth.

I read an article on chewing ice and some people develop the habit because they have anemia. Even though my red blood cells count is normal, I used to have long period bouts of anemia. I guess I started to chew on ice because I felt some relief from it. I know I have to stop but I cannot go cold turkey, I tried that already. Guess I need to develop some strategies to break my habit.

I remembered joining this club in the spring semester of 2010 at NJCU. I did not know what to expect but I joined with an open mind. Peppers (that is what we call ourselves) gave me a warm welcome and I felt right away that this club was unique. Slowly, I learned what PEP was about. PEP does a variety of things such as going to conferences, gaining interpersonal and professional skills, presenting social issues such as alcohol and drug abuse, domestic abuses, diversity, and many more. However, PEP is best known for helping student develop self-growth. It sounds scary because we discuss about our intimate feelings. In the beginning, I was too shy to discuss about my feelings and problems at home and did not fully trust the group yet.

I was invited to social outings with PEP and became a little comfortable with the group. Then I started volunteering to do presentations even though I was not good in public speaking. Then I went to a conference and had to perform an icebreaker in front of 50 students. I was very nervous but the peppers assured me I will do fine. They were right and I even made a funny phase: “Speed dating… without the dating!”

I started to act in skit and doing office work in the PEP’s office. I began to open up a bit in the meeting and felt a sense of belonging in the group. Then I was invited to go on a weekend retreat. These retreats are intense because we go into depth the issues that are bothering us. As a result, we develop close bonds with each other. I have been to four retreats and it helped me go to the core of my problems. I trusted these people to know about my feelings and they trusted me to know about their feelings.

My graduation is coming up in two weeks and I am glad that PEP is part of my life. Even though I will be moving on to a new chapter, I know the peppers will be there for me for whatever reasons. I am just grateful. Here are a couple of pictures at the retreat house.

They are my second family. :)

On my next-to-do list, I needed to book beds in hostels. I was doing researching for hostels that has a party scene. There was one party hostel that is famous in Amsterdam and has great reviews. However, it was all booked for all the days that I want to stay. :(. Then I came upon this hostel/hotel.

http://www.euphemiahotel.com/intro/intro2.htm

It’s not bad and my friend and I will stay in a six-bed dorm. I wonder what people I will meet.

Then my friend booked a hostel in Berlin called the wombat hostel.

http://www.wombats-hostels.com/berlin/

This hostel was on the list of the top 20 craziest party hostel around the world. We just need to book a hostel in Prague but we can do that next week. Just three more weeks until I leave for Europe. I cannot believe I am actually doing this.

Well… I am but it’s not my top priority right now. I am actually focusing more on my European trip than my job search. Once I come back, then I will start my process of getting a full-time job. Maybe I’m not in rush because I have a small amount of school loan.  Compare to my friend which has thousand of dollars in student loans, they have to find a job immediately and pay off the loans and interest.

Even if I do not have find an accounting job during the summer, at least I can work at the school’s pool until the end of August. This summer may be the last summer I can spent it carelessly. Guess I have to make the most of it. Maybe another trip to California with a friend? :)

Why my dog is better than your dog part # 11. When he is tired, he’d cuddle up like a ball. :3

I remembered a couple of years, I went to a depression screening at my university. After finishing up the survey, my score was higher than average. The person that was running the screening recommended me to go to therapy. There was a counseling center at NJCU and it was free because it was included in my tuition. I originally declined because I thought I was fine and did not need any help. Then a week at the hospital changed all that and I wanted to see a therapist.

I was on the waiting list for a month before I was able to book a regular session with my therapist. I did not what to expect from the sessions. I was not skeptical but I felt weird talking about my feelings to a stranger. Overtime, my session was an oasis in where I can rant and rave. Whether it was positive or negative, my therapist was there to hear. She saw me cry when I was complaining against lupus, saw my joy when I was planning my birthday party, and saw my dissatisfaction when things didn’t go my way. I did a lot of self-growth and I am more aware of my issues that are affecting my life

I have four sessions with my therapist until I graduate. Time flew past so quickly. It sucks that I will lose my oasis because I feel that I am not done with my therapy. Luckily, she is helping me in finding support groups that can continue my self-growth. It is bittersweet I guess.

Why my dog is better than your dog part #10. Look at my dog! He is eating spaghetti! He refuses to eat dog’s food!